Mania? Or Finding Joy?

Finding joy.  This is not an easy thing to do when you suffer from bipolar depression.  For a while now I’ve been pretty down.  After I took my Kenzie to the vet and got the possible diagnosis for cancer, I didn’t know what to do with myself.  So I started moving.  I haven’t stopped moving since.  My entire day is doing yardwork or going and taking photos of dogs and humans, cleaning, playing Zelda (self care for the win!) and other random things.  I can’t stop.  Kenzie’s biopsy came back as a virus or bacteria; they said it wasn’t cancer but didn’t know what it was.  But she’s okay.  So now my world can start spinning again, but I’m spinning faster.  I’m not sure if this is mania, but it feels wonderful.  I am getting so much done outside in my 5 acres of woods.  I’m planting and weeding and doing things I’ve never done outside before.  I get up on my own at around 8:30 (I used to sleep in until after noon most days).  I want to move.  I want to do.  I am making trips into town almost every day to donate to thrift stores after going through a random drawer or closet.  There’s no stopping me right now.  Is this full blown mania, or is this what being stable and “normal” and healthy feels like?

One of my main things of joy is my learning of photography.  I think I’ve spoken of it on here before, but I’ve been taking a class to learn how to take beautiful pictures.  I started out not knowing a single friggen thing, but now I’m taking actual pictures that I’m proud of.  I decided that I wanted to join two things I love and added dogs and cats into the mix.  I am OBSESSED with taking pictures of dogs.  It’s the most fun thing.  I love dogs anyway, but then to be able to use my new skills and be able to capture the personality of the dogs that their owners love just means so much to me.  I’m also volunteering at one of my local SPCA’s to take pictures of the shelter dogs there.  This is so rewarding to me and I’m loving it.  It’s REALLY hard, since they aren’t trained even a little bit, but when I do get a great picture, it just makes me all warm and happy inside.

 

I’m hoping that the pictures that show the personality really help these sweet things get their homes found.  I’m passionate about adoption after my Kenzie found me, and I want to do whatever I can to help these dogs (and cats) find their places as well.  I’ve found a love and a joy in something I never thought I’d ever do.  This, folks, is why you push yourself out of your comfort zone as much as possible.  Which I generally don’t do.  I’m incredibly grateful that I have done so with both photography and with deciding to incorporate my love of animals into it.

Now to learn how to photograph horses…

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