Gratitude

As I go to my group therapy 3 times a week, we are often shown that being grateful for things is something that is super helpful for depressive symptoms.  Not CURING depression, mind you.  Just helping it sometimes.  Of course, this is NOT an easy thing to accomplish when you hate yourself and your life and everything in it (I do not hate my life, but it is the example they use).  They have given us a few worksheets to help us along and they were some of the harder things I’ve had to do.  Trying to find 5 things I appreciate and am grateful about myself was terribly difficult for me.  I do have to admit that one of my 5 was my pretty shoes.  Things are hard (to pick), man.

                That said, one of the members actually created a calendar for the month with various subjects to pick one thing to be grateful on.  Things like music, places, nature, person, sound, holiday, tradition, on and on.  I’ve found it almost fun to look at the date and only have to think of one thing in the category to be grateful for, for just that day.  It almost breaks it down into easy chunks to digest the gratitude.

                Of course, sometimes I have these overwhelming thoughts of thankfulness for random things.  Usually when I’m sitting on my porch or driving and thinking.  One thing I am so incredibly grateful for recently is my “tribe” of women that are so supportive.  Growing up, I never really had friends that “stuck” for me.  I’d get a close friend for a few months, then inevitably we’d move on.  College changed that.  I got two of the most amazing women I’ve ever met to somehow be duped into loving me back and supporting me through thick and thin.  M and G, if you’re reading this, you’ve changed my life and I love you more than you’ll ever know.  I have the most amazing neighbor and she’s turned into a literal lifesaver to me.  She ALWAYS has a sixth sense of when I’m having a hard day and makes sure to reach out to me.  I adore her so much.  I’ve got work friends that send me cards when I’m gone on disability for months and go to plays with me.  I have Evaline, who will always talk to me about anything and everything.  She loves to do silly crafts with me and also has supported me through thick and thin.  I couldn’t do things without her behind me.  My sisters who are my personal sounding board and pharmacist sister is one of my best friends and will always be.  My mother and father who have supported me in this crazy venture and love me despite all I’ve put them through.  The list goes on and on.  I’m so lucky.
Of course, I could not be grateful without my husband.  He has been through so much with me.  He may not be the easiest person to love, but he truly loves me like nobody else has.  He’s a steady and constant presence in my life.  He lives by honor and loyalty and that is something that a chronic liar and exaggerator needs to have.  He always wants the best for us and our family and often takes the fall for things I say or do that he shouldn’t have to.

My wonderful tribe of supportive women (and dad) have literally saved my life.  I would not be coping NEARLY as well as I feel like I am without them.  *annoyingly grateful post over*

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